by Jim Shepherd
OK, I’m angry.
When an average person says something rude, nasty, and downright untrue about another person, there are several possible remedies available: confront the slanderer and refute the comment, confront them and then punch them in the nose, or, if all else fails, sue them for slander. Suing is always secondary to doing as far as I’m concerned, but some would rather go to court than the ER to get a broken knuckle checked out.
Personally, I think Meredith Graves of Tennessee should walk up to New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg, punch him in the beak and then hand him some of the powdered aspirin she apparently carries in her purse. Down here in the south, that’s what might be called a “Goody’s moment” – but I think it would be justice in its most elemental form.
Meredith Graves was with her husband visiting the Ground Zero memorial in NYC when she had one of those “uh-oh” moments and realized she had a small pistol in her purse. She also had a license to carry that little pistol in Tennessee, but decided to do the honest thing and see about checking the pistol. When she asked where she might check said firearm, she was arrested. Now, she’s facing jail time for having broken New York City’s restrictive firearms laws.
Today, I’m not angry over NYC’s firearms laws- they’re stupid. They’re also probably illegal, but I’m going to leave that up to smarter folks than me to play out in the courts – and then watch nervously as the Supreme Court of the United States agrees. At that point, I’ll probably be angry again because NYC will do the same thing the District of Columbia has done about what appears to be a toothless SCOTUS ruling – they’ll either ignore it totally, or pass a set of qualifying standards that no one could meet. That’s how much respect big-city legislators have for the Supreme Court of the United States.
But I digress…I’m angry at the off-the-cuff comment Bloomberg made about Mrs. Graves at a press conference after she was arrested. Bloomberg, in his normally imperious manner, remarked to a reporter “Let’s assume she didn’t get arrested for carrying a gun. She probably would have gotten arrested for the cocaine that was in her pocket.”
Just one problem there, peerless leader, it wasn’t cocaine, it was powdered aspirin. And powdered aspirin – as anyone who’s lived in the south more than about two minutes and forty-five seconds knows – is a time-honored product to remedy a headache. That’s why I say Mrs. Graves should give “hizzoner” a “Goody’s moment” – she should be given the opportunity to demonstrate the effectiveness of powdered aspirin for anything from a headache to a swift shot in the chops. Yes, I’ve used them for both.
